Ask the Proxies: Good Questions.

Hello daters! With Friday already upon us, we hope that some of you called/were called a few days ago for a date and are now looking forward to a fun and organized outing this weekend!

We recently received a question from “C” and think that it is a perfect post to kickoff the weekend.

I can say that I’m a fairly personable chap, and have no trouble in starting and contributing to a conversation …when I know the people in it.

There are times when I’m on a date (mostly firsts) when the conversation flows like the Mississippi and other times it feels like it’s molasses in January. What are some good questions I can ask on my first dates to get the ball rolling?

 

That is a fantastic question “C”, and so we asked some of our bloggers to come up with both basic and unique questions that you can have on reserve if that first-date conversation starts lagging.

 

Here are some good questions for dates:

Where are they from?

How did they like growing up there?

What is their family like?

What made them move to (insert location)?

Where have they lived besides those places?

Have they done any traveling recently/are going to travel/want to travel?

What do they do for a living/are going to school for?

What made him/her want to work/study in that field?

What do they want to do with their degree after they finish?

What do they like to do on the weekends/evenings/outside?

Do they have any pets? Do they even like pets?

Do they speak another language?

Are they involved in any extra curricular activities?

What was the last thing they bought at the store?

What kind of music do they like?

Do they watch any TV shows religiously?

What is their favorite food?

What movies do they like? What was the last movie they saw?

With which of their siblings are they closest?  Why?

What was the last activity they did with their friends?

What do they like to read?

Would they rather be at a live concert or a dance?

Are they a shopaphobe or a shopaholic?

Have they ever ran a red light?

Would they rather buy one expensive thing that they know will last or a less expensive thing that may not last as long?

Where do they want to live in the future?

Is there some store/restaurant/other place they do not like to go to?

Have they ever written anything?  If they were to write a book or a movie, what would it be about?

If they could be any kind of animal, what would they be and why?

If they could be any superhero who would it be and why?

Do they play any musical instruments?

Are they spontaneous? Or do they always need a plan? Ask for an example.

What are some of the little things that they appreciate about their life?

Do they have any pet peeves?

What job(s) did they have growing up?

Do they like the sunset or sunrise better?

Do they have/ever had a nickname? What’s the story behind it?

What kinds of things really make them laugh?

 

The thing is to always remember to play off of the conversation as it flows. If he/she talks a lot about traveling, then say something like “sounds like travel is a big priority for you…have you always liked it?” That helps the other person transition from telling you about traveling to telling you WHY they like traveling. The whole goal is to create a basic conversation that leads into more personal conversation. Normally you can’t just jump straight to personal topics, you must ease into them. You must establish foundation of comfort and trust for that next level of conversation to flow, and the super basic questions are the ones that will get you there.

Try to memorize a few of these questions for when you get past the “How was your week?” talk, and then just remember to listen for clues and cues in the conversation that can help move you past these basic questions and into more a meaningful discussion.

 

Hope that helps.

Please comment/email in with any date questions you think are either excellent or awful to ask on a first date!

 

Happy weekend!