Lovely daters! We have very happy news to announce! We have a new Proxee! Her hot and happenin’ dating tips impressed us to the max!
We introduce her to you now; your new dating guru, the next coed consultant, the new head Proxee…SHELLY!
It’s been lovely dating with you all, and we know we are handing you off to good hands. Take it Shelly!
Thanks previous Proxees! I’m excited to be here.
I am going to be my own urban dictionary today and define an ‘Eager Beaver’ as someone who is so excited that it works to their detriment. You may or may not be aware that this applies to you, so I hope to bring clarification and allow you to adjust your standard course of action. When you are talking to a girl- whether she struck up the conversation, or she let you to strike up conversation with her, you want to avoid appearing to be “too excited”.
Deep down in the primal depths of a woman’s brain, we know that we want a man that will protect and provide for us, and that the best males will likely be desired by other females as well. When you are “too excited” to be speaking with us, typically one of two messages gets communicated.
“I am so excited to be talking to a girl because this never happens to me!”
“I am so excited to be talking to this girl because she is way better looking/way more awesome than the other girls that let me talk to them!”
Because these are the messages we receive from a thrilled look on your face, you want to avoid it, especially in the first conversation. Basically, excitement goes hand in hand with novelty, and having a conversation with a girl shouldn’t be something new or unusual to you.
Now the mind can be a powerful thing, and sometimes simply thinking something, will help you to non-verbally communicate that message. When you are trying to hit on a girl for the first time, these are more like the messages you want to be conveying:
“This girl is cute, I would like to find out more about her.”
“I’m glad that I’m talking to this girl, this is a fun conversation.”
“I’ve enjoyed this conversation so far, I think I would like to see more of her.”
When you implement these thought patterns, you are communicating to us that you are comfortable and desirable, while still communicating interest. Just like I am sure many of you men have experienced, getting the vibe that someone is desperate can be a quick way to neutralize attraction. Make sure your efforts match your information- if you have only known a girl for three minutes, don’t act like you’ve fallen hook, line, and sinker for her just yet.
If you are still not sure what it looks like to be too excited or enthusiastic, think of something that gets you really, REALLY excited. Maybe someone just told you that you won tickets to a NCAA final four game, or free steak for life, or a free 60″ flat screen TV. Now look in the mirror, and that’s the face you want to avoid when you are talking to a girl.
Do you think I missed any “Eager Beaver” tell tale signs? I would love to hear your input!
Dating world! As you have probably (and sadly) noticed, we here at Proxee have been less than active on our dating site. This is due to dating success, and we feel that we are now out-of-touch with the most happenin’ topics in the dating scene.
Because of this, we are holding a contest to find new Proxees to pass the proxeeconsulting.com baton off to.
That’s right, you can win this consultancy!
And how can you win this fantastic opportunity to share your dating expertise to an existing blog following and the world?? Email us at proxeeconsulting(at)gmail.com with your best dating advice/dating consultant story, and you’ll have the chance to win the coveted title of Proxee Consultant!
So if you’ve ever played matchmaker, coached your friend through the infamous first date, become the dating oracle in your social scene, or felt a personal connection to the character Hitch, WE WANT YOU AS THE NEXT PROXEE!
So send in your story/advice for your chance to win!
Happy 2012 everyone!! We hope you all had a fantastic holiday season, and got to munch on a lot of tasty treats and get fun presents. Now, for those of you who had no one to smooch at midnight, do not fear!! It is a new year, full of new people and new opportunities.
And, what is the most common thing that happens around new years? Besides the smooching, the most popular thing is to make some good new years resolutions! That is where our great blogger e.dm comes in with a fantastic resolution to help with your 2012 hunny hunt! Here she is with a great article on making sure that your list of goals has some personality to it!
Take it away e.dm!
The piece of cardboard dude is the guy who thinks he’s awesome. This is because he’s probably in dental school, or med school, or getting his MBA. This is because he knows he goes to church every Sunday. He got his eagle. He served a mission. He’s nice to people in public places.
None of these things are bad. Let me say that again, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ANY ONE ITEM ON THAT LIST. They are a few items off a GIGANTIC list of awesome things people can do in their life.
The problem with the cardboard dude is that he does all those things because it’s a list. I mean, maybe he wanted to go on a mission. He probably desired to get his MBA. He worked hard. It’s just that along the way, something about the “why” got lost. Which isn’t really a problem, except why we do things develops into who we are—which equals our personality.
Even then, being the cardboard man isn’t all that bad in everyday life, but it surfaces in the dating world in sad ways. For example, a cardboard dude expects girls to fall over him because he does everything “right.” I often run into guys who complain that they can’t find a girl, even though they “have everything a girl is looking for! Money, charm, education!” But, that isn’t everything! Personality, individuality and honesty also are huge wants for girls. It’s often difficult to make connections with a cardboard dude because his actual personality is underdeveloped and flat.
THE GOOD NEWS!
If you suspect you might be a piece of cardboard, don’t worry—all is not lost. Two items will help you eek slowly into the “interesting guy” range.
- Try new things & find stuff you are interested in– and then pursue it. Few things are more attractive than a man who does interesting things.
- Love people. Paul was not messing around when he said that nothing matters if you don’t have charity. Sometimes actually really loving people takes practice—
The interesting thing is that #1 and #2 are not really separate. As you open yourself to really love people, you start thinking more stuff is interesting and doing more interesting things. You then have more (positive) stuff to talk about, and you become more interested in the other things that people do themselves and their lives.
And then, you can probably persuade someone to swoon over you. But more importantly: you’ll be able to fall in love, and will be the type of person you would want to love you.
***don’t worry, there are also cardboard girls. So, if you don’t want to change, just date them. But if you are wanting a more sincere partner, then take a good look in the mirror and make a resolution to develop who you are first!
Today we are bringing you another great tip from Mont on how Attitude can change your dating life– with both the person you are wanting to date, and with yourself.
Take it away Mont!
When you really think about it, not every date that you go on is going to lead you to your future husband/wife, so having a good attitude about the dating process can take a lot of the stress out of it.
What does a good attitude look like? It’s more then just positive thinking. It’s about keeping your perspective so that even if the date goes bad, you can still go home with your self confidence intact. To help with this I’ve come up with a list of things to always keep on your mind throughout the night. Broken down into before, during, and after the date.
Without a doubt there are plenty of things going through a guys mind at this point. You asked the girl out, she said yes and now you have spent the week thinking about what’s going to happen. “What should I wear, what should we do, how is she gonna act, what should we talk about?” are some common concerns that plague the pre-date mind. While those are important questions, here are a few other things guys that we should keep on our minds as well.
Manage your expectations- If you have spent all week fantasizing that you and your date are going to fall madly in love, you will most likely be left disappointed by the end of the night. Have fun on the date but don’t come with a set of expectations, you’ll have a better if you are on the date to have fun, not meet your long-term goals. Let me share one of my favorite quotes, “If you wanna hear the Lord laugh, tell him what you have planned.”
Now this doesn’t mean that you can’t be optimistic. You never know what will happen, just don’t start naming your future children before you find out the name of her hamster.
Hydrate- Yes this may sound stupid, but unless you are meeting in the north pole, chances are that you are going to sweat a little on the date. Drinking water will help with that little problem, and did you know drinking water can help keep bad breath at bay? It’s true, and a total plus. No girl likes bad breath.
Eat- “Say what Mont? We are going out to eat why do I need to eat before? You crazy man!” That’s what you’re thinking right? Well let’s say you get to dinner, but the wait is a long period of time? I don’t know about you guys, but if I don’t have food in me, I get a little shaky and grumpy. An apple or something small can help low blood sugar or that grumbling stomach that’s distracting her from the conversation.
Shower- This is a no brainier. No girl wants to smell that fish you have been working with all day or the gym bag smell. Take care of it. Keep clean.
Confirmation Call- Give her a call a couple days before to remind her about the date and see if she is still able to go. Sometimes things come up. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to see you. Just means that things happen.
Have a plan- Yes, those spontaneous dates where you have no idea what you are doing can be fun, but save those for later dates. First dates and the next couple following should always have a plan. That way she knows you value her time, and have it together. It’s also nice to have a couple plans, that way if something falls through or something happens you have a back-up plan. I remember a date I went on back in high school. It was a double-date and my buddy let his parents know where we were going to be going. On our way to the dinner with the girls we hit a patch of ice and slid off the road into a ditch. Our original date was to get dinner and go see a play, but after finally getting the car out of the ditch we had missed our reservations and the start of the show. Our back-up plan was to go back to my buddy’s house and make dinner for the girls and watch a movie. We had all the items for that dinner already bought and the date actually turned out to be pretty cool. It’s also a great idea to let her know the plan for the night. That way she knows what to expect and what her options of clothes for the night are. Bring yourself a jacket or something to wear in case the weather gets bad. Planning is always the key guys.
DURING A DATE
Ok. Now your on the date. Awesome guys! This is it, all your planning and prepping are going into effect. Here are some things that, with a little help I got from some of my lady friends, are always winners during the date.
Be On Time- Plain and simple. Don’t keep her waiting. It’s really not as cool as your friends think to be fashionably late to a date. Shows her that this night really isn’t all that important to you. Big no no This doesn’t mean that you show up 30 minutes early. You will be waiting on her couch talking to all her roommates. It will also make her feel like she has to hurry up and rush. A good 5 to 10 minutes early is great.
Open Doors- This is a universal rule, but amazes me how many guys don’t do it. You don’t have to open every single door for her guys, but there are a few doors that should always be opened by you. Car door and the doors leading into the buildings.This is the classic example that’s stood the test of time.
Compliment- She spent 14 hours getting ready for this date tonight (ok not really, but I’ve been told by girls that it is sometimes not too far off.) She spent the time to get ready for the date just like you did (hopefully) so let her know it. Don’t ever call her hot though, it’s way too overused and pretty superficial. Call her beautiful or pretty, because you know what? She is.
Talk- The strong and silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast. Ask her questions about herself, how her week went, how is that thing she is working on? School project, dance routine, etc. A great line from the movie Hitch. “The date is about her” Love it. You asked her on the date because you want to get to know her better. So get to know her better. Most likely she will want to know some of the same things about you as well so feel free to answer her questions. Don’t cut her off mid sentence though with “Oh yeah I’ve done that too”. There is also no need to talk to her about ex girlfriends. She doesn’t care. Eye contact is great at all times when she is talking to you, or when you are talking to her. I’ll be the first to admit I have failed at this in the past, but when you think about it a woman’s eyes can be one of her most beautiful features. So look at them, cause she’ll be looking at yours.
Be Honest- She could be on the date with you for a number of reasons but most of the time it’s because she is also interested in getting to know you better. So there really isn’t any need to act like you are the big tough macho guy that fended off a grizzly bear attack with a metal spoon. Be yourself, that’s obviously what intrigued her in the first place so use that to your advantage. Besides being dishonest with her breaks that trust you once may of had. You don’t want to lose that.
Be Attentive- This can go along with talking and such, but listen to what she has to say. Find a way to focus just on here if you are having trouble. Don’t look around at the other guy’s dates of the evening. TURN OF YOUR PHONE or at least put it on silent. Like I said above this date is about her. Not about you or what your friend is doing. If you have to answer the phone ask her if it’s ok. Wait till she is done talking or find some way to call them back. A lady is gonna be watching you all night long just as you should be watching her. She will be paying attention to your every move.The things you say and how you act around people and her friends and so on. Be nice. Be the guy that she wants to have around more rather then keep away from her friends.
Physical Touch-This one can be kinda tricky. If it’s the first date physical touch should almost be limited to nothing. If she is into you she may be more physical then not. Same for you. A brief touch of the leg or a touch of the arm or back should be all the is done on a first date.
Have fun- Enjoy her company and make the date as fun as you can without seeming like you are trying too hard. Joke around laugh and just have fun. She will start to feel more comfortable around you the more you open up.
Walk Her to Her Door- Don’t stop in front of her place or at the bottom of the stairs and say goodnight. She may say “no it’s ok” but always walk her up to the door.You will make her realize that you want her to get home safe.
Now comes the awkward part. Do you give her a hug? Shake her hand? Kiss? Just walk away? Ladies help me out here, but I really think this depends on the how many dates and how well the relationship(if it’s more then just a first date) or the night went if it was a first date. If it’s a first date this whole door step situation can be really weird for both of the girl and guy. Especially if you have one thing in mind and she has another. If it’s a first date a kiss even on the cheek is probably too far. I personally always go with a hug and thank you for a great night. There was one time in my life that I got the handshake and was so confused. Turns out she really liked me but always shook the guys hands on a first date. Not my thing, but like I said everyone has a preference. The door step scene can also be the moment of great future stories. I remember one date back in high school. The dance was awful, the date wasn’t that great(it was girls choice) and when I walked her up to the door to tell her goodnight she went in for a kiss. I went in for a hug. She caught me off guard I feel backward into the bushes and ended up with a stick going through my leg. Ten years later it is a great story, then not so much fun. Guys don’t try to push anything on her though. Thank her for a great date and move on.
At that moment, you have officially made it through the night. Hopefully with everything going smoothly. I read one thing earlier on Proxee that talks about keeping the date short. If it’s a first date I think that is a great idea. There really isn’t any reason to be out with her as long as humanly possible that first night. Give her enough that she will leave wanting to see you again.
I’m sure there are many more things that could be included in this section, but I think this is a good start. Let’s move on to What you should be thinking after the date is over.
AFTER THE DATE
After she has gone inside and you have gotten back in your car don’t text her or call her right away. Give it some time. Why? She is inside the house telling all her roommates how the date went. She is also playing it back in her mind. Did it go well for her? Give her a chance to think about you and miss you. After you leave her house the date is over. Let it be over. But, don’t wait too long. I’d say about 1/2 hour to an hour after is a good amount of time to wait. But! Don’t forget! The after-date text is always an important finishing touch.
So, there you have it. Some tips that will help you keep it together before, during, and after a date. But, most importantly, always remember that every date is a learning experience even if it’s a bad one, and remember to always have fun!
Hey fellow daters! We’ve got a special Guest Post for you today from one of the bloggers over at The Anti-Austen . We are always entertained by their dating stories, and were very pleased to have The Charmer drop by and write for us some great advice we think you all will enjoy!
Hello lovely readers! Around the blogworld, I’m known as The Charmer and I write over at The Anti-Austen where I entertain readers with stories about my capricious love life. I’m a huge fan of Proxee Consulting, so I was absolutely thrilled when the ladies of this blog asked me to write a guest post!
Today’s post is for all of you gentleman out there wondering how to go about getting a girl’s number.
Getting a girl’s phone number is a delicate art; you’re essentially asking her if she trusts you with such personal information. You are also establishing the fact that you would be interested in interacting with her again, and you are asking her if she is also willing to talk to you or spend more time with you. So, the way you approach the situation is crucial.
I’ll let you in on a little secret–girls are always a tad shy when it comes to giving out their numbers. You think asking for our number is awkward? Well, we feel awkward giving it out. Even if we like you, we still feel a little strange about giving you our number. Why? Because, whether either party acknowledges it or not, this is the first act of trust. The girl is still unsure about whether or not she trusts the guy enough to give him the power to contact her whenever he wants; the guy is unsure whether or not she’s going to actually give him this power.
So, keeping this in mind, you want to be direct. You don’t want to act goofy or make her feel like you’re trying to bribe her into giving you her number. Why make a potentially awkward situation worse?
What I’m saying is…no pickup lines. You know, things like “I lost my number, can I have yours?” This will sound completely cliche, but the key to getting a girl’s number: just act natural.
Remember,as much as we wish it was, dating is not a science. Thus, there is no fool-proof formula to winning over a girl or even to getting her number. So even though these tips work for most people, you might be one of the lucky few who gets to figure out your own technique!
Hopefully, you already know how to initiate conversations with girls, since that’s the first step to getting a girl’s number and could be a whole lesson in itself. If, however, you’re unsure about how to talk to girls, just remember the acronym CRAB: Compliment her, Rely on your surroundings, Ask questions, Be in the moment.
C: Compliment her. Girls love compliments. Luckily, complimenting girls tends to be fairly easy.
R: Rely on your surroundings to help supply you with topics; you can talk about the people walking by, comment on her car, or ask her if she’s enjoying the basketball game. Honestly, you can even talk about the weather. If you can’t think of anything, you can always just approach her and say, “I don’t think I’ve met you…I’m Jared” and let the conversation flow from there.
A: Ask questions. The trick is not to ask “yes” or “no” questions, because these will bring the conversation to a halt. Instead of asking, “Do you like the weather,” why not ask, “What are you going to do now that the weather’s warmed up?”
B: Be in the moment. If you’re going to start up a conversation with a girl, make sure you’re paying attention to her; don’t be distracted by what’s going around you. If you’re looking around at other girls or even waving to other guys, she’s going to get the feeling that you’re not interested in what she’s saying.
Now that you’re an expert conversationalist, it’s time to learn some tips for getting her number…
- Smile. This is one of the most important things to remember! You are instantly more attractive and more fun to be around when you smile.
- Sometimes, you won’t get the chance to have a long conversation with a girl; you might just run into her in line at the grocery store and think, Wow, I’ve got to get to know this girl. The key to getting her number: confidence! Make eye contact, smile, and be friendly. Start a short conversation with her. Then, after chatting for a few seconds or a few minutes, say something like, “Hey, I’d love to keep talking but I’ve got to go. Can I get your number?’ Simple, but effective. Notice the wording I used…there is no need to say anything too flirty, like “Can I get your number so that we can continue this conversation over dinner sometime?” (But if you’re really confident, you could try it and see what happens…!)
- If you’ve been talking about an activity you both like, such as soccer, use it! “My roommates and I play soccer on Thursdays. You should play with us some time! Can I get your number?” or “How about I get your number and I’ll call you next time we’re playing.”
- Instead of asking directly for her number, you can always offer her your number first in the hope that she’ll return the favor. You might say, “Hey, let me give you my number and you can call me if you have any questions on the psychology homework.” This can be a little safer; after all, she’s probably not going to respond with, “Umm, no, I don’t want your number.” Of course, if she doesn’t give you her number in return, it’s up to her to initiate the contact…hopefully you impressed her with your witty conversation skills ;)
- If she refuses to give you her number, you can try the tip I just mentioned and offer yours. Some girls aren’t comfortable giving out their numbers. If she says no, just say, “Well, how about I give you mine then?” Again, you’re putting the ball into her court, and some guys might argue that this isn’t a very productive move. However, it’s a better move than removing the ball from the court entirely.
- Another easy way to go about it is just to let her know right from the beginning that you’re interested in taking her out. Simply tell her, “I’d really like to take you to dinner sometime.” If she responds favorably, respond with, “Great! Can I get your number? I’ll call you and we can figure something out.” It may seem bold, but I really appreciate it when guys are direct instead of leaving me to guess at their mysterious intentions.
- Keep in mind that even if she gives you her number, she might not be romantically interested in you. She may just be interested in playing soccer with you, or who knows—she could be interested in your friend.
And because giving dating advice is one of my very favorite things to do, I’ll even give you a couple bonus tips.
- Now that you’ve got her number, send her the occasional text just to let her know she’s on your mind. Try something like, “Can you believe it’s still raining?” or “Did I see you at Target yesterday?” These can be especially effective if you use something the two of you have previously talked about–for example, “Good luck on your stats final!” or “Ugh, I fell asleep in biology again!”
- Remember, you want to stay fresh in her mind—don’t wait a couple weeks after she’s given you her number to call her up or text her.
If these tips helped you out, be sure to let me know! And, if you liked this post, be sure to check out The Anti-Austen for more dating tips and ridiculous dating stories!
Beast: I want to do something for her… but what?
Cogsworth: Well, there’s the usual things: flowers… chocolates… promises you don’t intend to keep…
This little conversation can be found in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, when the Beast is falling in love with the beautiful Belle.
Now when Cogsworth gives his line, people always chuckle because it’s funny—and true.
Why does it have to be true though?
This post is to raise awareness of one of the most impressive things a guy can do when dating: follow through.
Here, let me give you an example.
Once I was dating a guy who said on a couple different occasions that he wanted to take me to a baseball game. Well, baseball season ended, and he never took me. And I never forgot. Was I impressed? Not at all. It showed me that his word did not mean all that much to him… and that is not a good thing guys!
On the other hand, one time I was dating this guy who said that he wanted to take me to dinner at this nice restaurant we had talked about once. A couple months later, he surprised me with an evening out to that place. He remembered, and followed through. Was I impressed? Very. It showed me that he did not just talk to talk, but was the type of person who would follow through on things he said.
Which situation would anyone rather be in? I think, for most of us, it would be the latter. We would want our person to follow through with what they had said. This does not only apply to events, but this also applies to saying you will call them, message them, pick them up, etc.
I know, we all talk. We all say things in the moment we may never intend to do, but when you are dating you cannot do that if you want to impress!
Girls remember when you tell them that you want to take them somewhere, or that you will call/text them, or that you want to do something with them. So if you want to stand out among the crowd of men, one of the easy things you can do is follow through with plans you say. It shows more than just your ability to remember and plan; it reflects your character and that what you say means something.
And, to most girls, that is very attractive.
So send the signal that you are interested, and worth being interested in, by following through!
When you call a girl to ask her out on a date, let her know what you’ll be doing. Especially let her know if you’re planning on taking her out to dinner. She does not want to be surprised by dinner after she has already eaten because she wasn’t sure.
Let’s all admit it. Everyone is a little nervous on the first date. Some more so than others. But guys, girls are attracted to a confident man, and so that is the man you want to be. Not sure how to do it? Well, Dave’s here with some tips and tricks to help pull off the confident vibe—no matter how nervous you are!
Take it away Dave!
The idea behind having confidence on a date is to make the real you shine. Here are a few ideas I have for how you can show some confidence without sacrificing what makes you special.
Recognize that you have some great things to offer and to share with a girl.
Whatever it is; if you love fishing or comic books, cooking or running, there are things that are unique to you, and you should realize that there is a girl out there who will be interested in those things.
So step one is recognize your interests and own them. If you’re not sure what your interests are, sit down and make a list of 100 things you love (not an easy task—you’ll probably start to run out of ideas at some point but work through it). When you’re on a date, don’t be afraid to share about the things you love, just remember to also ask her about her favorite things as well.
Don’t be intimidated by a girl who others may say is “out of your league”.
Is she a supermodel? Does she have a PhD? Could she beat you at any game you ever play? Doesn’t matter.
Remember that there are different kinds of smart, attractive, funny, talented, etc. A girl getting a PhD in astrophysics may not be too impressed by the fact that you rode a bull for 10 seconds but that doesn’t mean you aren’t equally as talented, just in different ways. What one person finds really impressive may not be all that great to another. So take what you’re good at and run with it, and don’t be intimidated!
Have good posture and try to keep your hands out of your pockets.
I include this only because bad posture is not part of your personality, so leaving it behind isn’t going to affect who you are. A confident man stands tall and walks with an attitude that he knows where he’s going. I would be shocked if I ever heard a girl say, “I really liked him but he stood up just a little too straight for me”. That’s not to say that it hasn’t ever happened, but good posture is going to improve your odds. It exudes confidence in a good way.
Don’t be embarrassed if you’re not a flashy person.
If you don’t like spending money on things like clothes or cars it’s ok—just be sure you are comfortable with it. If you’re not a high roller then you shouldn’t try to cover that up to win a girl. It’s not conducive to a good long-term relationship because someday the truth will come out and then she may feel deceived.
Now, be sure to put yourself together well, have clean and freshly pressed clothes and a good shower, but know that if you are confident in who you are and what you wear she will take note.
Discover the things that make you unique and special—the things you like about yourself—and don’t be hesitant to share them with your dates. Read books, take classes, watch popular shows, and other things that spark your interests. If you have a lot of stuff going on in your life then you have an interesting person to present, both to yourself and her, and that will help you find commonalities and similar interests that give to easy conversation.
Remember to laugh off mishaps.
Things go wrong on dates sometimes. You get lost. You miss the movie because of traffic. That’s ok, she understands. The last thing you need to do it become upset. A confident man is ok with plan B’s and even plan C’s. Your ability to adapt smoothly to different situations and not take it so seriously will impress her, and make her feel like she is with a guy who can take care of both himself and her.
Well, there you have it! A few tips to help you stay cool and calm on that first date!
Hello dear readers! We are starting a new series on our blog called “Sticky Note Tips.” They are short and quick dating tips that get right to the point; an “if anything, remember this” style of post.
…and want your help writing them! Email in any quick tips or tricks that you think are important to remember when going on a date, and we’ll post them up on the site!
Now, let us present the first in the Sticky Note Tips series:
Rule of thumb: When first dating, only text between the hours of 10am to 10pm.
If you are having a conversation, no need to suddenly stop at 10pm, but no starting up conversations.
People are busy and have different sleep schedules, and the last thing you want to do when you first start dating someone is annoy them with late night/early morning texts.