The New Proxee: Avoiding the ‘Eager Beaver’ Trap

Lovely daters! We have very happy news to announce! We have a new Proxee! Her hot and happenin’ dating tips impressed us to the max!

We introduce her to you now; your new dating guru, the next coed consultant, the new head Proxee…SHELLY!

It’s been lovely dating with you all, and we know we are handing you off to good hands. Take it Shelly!

______________________

Thanks previous Proxees! I’m excited to be here.

I am going to be my own urban dictionary today and define an ‘Eager Beaver’ as someone who is so excited that it works to their detriment. You may or may not be aware that this applies to you, so I hope to bring clarification and allow you to adjust your standard course of action. When you are talking to a girl- whether she struck up the conversation, or she let you to strike up conversation with her, you want to avoid appearing to be “too excited”.

Deep down in the primal depths of a woman’s brain, we know that we want a man that will protect and provide for us, and that the best males will likely be desired by other females as well. When you are “too excited” to be speaking with us, typically one of two messages gets communicated.

“I am so excited to be talking to a girl because this never happens to me!”

“I am so excited to be talking to this girl because she is way better looking/way more awesome than the other girls that let me talk to them!”

Because these are the messages we receive from a thrilled look on your face, you want to avoid it, especially in the first conversation. Basically, excitement goes hand in hand with novelty, and having a conversation with a girl shouldn’t be something new or unusual to you.

Now the mind can be a powerful thing, and sometimes simply thinking something, will help you to non-verbally communicate that message. When you are trying to hit on a girl for the first time, these are more like the messages you want to be conveying:

“This girl is cute, I would like to find out more about her.”

“I’m glad that I’m talking to this girl, this is a fun conversation.”

“I’ve enjoyed this conversation so far, I think I would like to see more of her.”

When you implement these thought patterns, you are communicating to us that you are comfortable and desirable, while still communicating interest. Just like I am sure many of you men have experienced, getting the vibe that someone is desperate can be a quick way to neutralize attraction. Make sure your efforts match your information- if you have only known a girl for three minutes, don’t act like you’ve fallen hook, line, and sinker for her just yet.

If you are still not sure what it looks like to be too excited or enthusiastic, think of something that gets you really, REALLY excited. Maybe someone just told you that you won tickets to a NCAA final four game, or free steak for life, or a free 60″ flat screen TV. Now look in the mirror, and that’s the face you want to avoid when you are talking to a girl.

Do you think I missed any “Eager Beaver” tell tale signs? I would love to hear your input!

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Posted on June 7, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Totally agree with this! Most of the time when a guy comes off too eager I’m like, “Ok. Why are you soooooo excited? Do you not normally talk to girls?” It’s a real turn-off.

  2. I’m sad this blog has kind of died off. I really liked the advice.

  3. I’m sad that it’s died off, too. I’m starting a blog that deals with issues and challenges facing singles, and I was hoping to refer people to this site. Lots of great stuff here!

    -Rachel

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