Guest Post: How to Get that Number

Hey fellow daters! We’ve got a special Guest Post for you today from one of the bloggers over at The Anti-Austen . We are always entertained by their dating stories, and were very pleased to have The Charmer drop by and write for us some great advice we think you all will enjoy!

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Hello lovely readers! Around the blogworld, I’m known as The Charmer and I write over at The Anti-Austen  where I entertain readers with stories about my capricious love life.  I’m a huge fan of Proxee Consulting, so I was absolutely thrilled when the ladies of this blog asked me to write a guest post!

Today’s post is for all of you gentleman out there wondering how to go about getting a girl’s number.

Getting a girl’s phone number is a delicate art; you’re essentially asking her if she trusts you with such personal information.  You are also establishing the fact that you would be interested in interacting with her again, and you are asking her if she is also willing to talk to you or spend more time with you.  So, the way you approach the situation is crucial.

I’ll let you in on a little secret–girls are always a tad shy when it comes to giving out their numbers.  You think asking for our number is awkward?  Well, we feel awkward giving it out.  Even if we like you, we still feel a little strange about giving you our number.  Why?  Because, whether either party acknowledges it or not, this is the first act of trust.  The girl is still unsure about whether or not she trusts the guy enough to give him the power to contact her whenever he wants; the guy is unsure whether or not she’s going to actually give him this power.

So, keeping this in mind, you want to be direct.  You don’t want to act goofy or make her feel like you’re trying to bribe her into giving you her number. Why make a potentially awkward situation worse?
What I’m saying is…no pickup lines.  You know, things like “I lost my number, can I have yours?”  This will sound completely cliche, but the key to getting a girl’s number: just act natural.

Remember,as much as we wish it was, dating is not a science.  Thus, there is no fool-proof formula to winning over a girl or even to getting her number. So even though these tips work for most people, you might be one of the lucky few who gets to figure out your own technique!

Hopefully, you already know how to initiate conversations with girls, since that’s the first step to getting a girl’s number and could be a whole lesson in itself. If, however, you’re unsure about how to talk to girls, just remember the acronym CRAB: Compliment her, Rely on your surroundings, Ask questions, Be in the moment.
C: Compliment her. Girls love compliments. Luckily, complimenting girls tends to be fairly easy.
R: Rely on your surroundings  to help supply you with topics; you can talk about the people walking by, comment on her car, or ask her if she’s enjoying the basketball game.  Honestly, you can even talk about the weather.  If you can’t think of anything, you can always just approach her and say, “I don’t think I’ve met you…I’m Jared” and let the conversation flow from there.
A: Ask questions. The trick is not to ask “yes” or “no” questions, because these will bring the conversation to a halt. Instead of asking, “Do you like the weather,” why not ask, “What are you going to do now that the weather’s warmed up?”
B: Be in the moment. If you’re going to start up a conversation with a girl, make sure you’re paying attention to her; don’t be distracted by what’s going around you.  If you’re looking around at other girls or even waving to other guys, she’s going to get the feeling that you’re not interested in what she’s saying.

Now that you’re an expert conversationalist, it’s time to learn some tips for getting her number…

• Smile. This is one of the most important things to remember! You are instantly more attractive and more fun to be around when you smile.
• Sometimes, you won’t get the chance to have a long conversation with a girl; you might just run into her in line at the grocery store and think, Wow, I’ve got to get to know this girl. The key to getting her number: confidence!  Make eye contact, smile, and be friendly.  Start a short conversation with her. Then, after chatting for a few seconds or a few minutes, say something like, “Hey, I’d love to keep talking but I’ve got to go.  Can I get your number?’  Simple, but effective.  Notice the wording I used…there is no need to say anything too flirty, like “Can I get your number so that we can continue this conversation over dinner sometime?” (But if you’re really confident, you could try it and see what happens…!)
• If you’ve been talking about an activity you both like, such as soccer, use it! “My roommates and I play soccer on Thursdays.  You should play with us some time!  Can I get your number?” or “How about I get your number and I’ll call you next time we’re playing.”
• Instead of asking directly for her number, you can always offer her your number first in the hope that she’ll return the favor.  You might say, “Hey, let me give you my number and you can call me if you have any questions on the psychology homework.” This can be a little safer; after all, she’s probably not going to respond with, “Umm, no, I don’t want your number.”  Of course, if she doesn’t give you her number in return, it’s up to her to initiate the contact…hopefully you impressed her with your witty conversation skills
• If she refuses to give you her number, you can try the tip I just mentioned and offer yours.  Some girls aren’t comfortable giving out their numbers.  If she says no, just say, “Well, how about I give you mine then?”  Again, you’re putting the ball into her court, and some guys might argue that this isn’t a very productive move. However, it’s a better move than removing the ball from the court entirely.
• Another easy way to go about it is just to let her know right from the beginning that you’re interested in taking her out. Simply tell her, “I’d really like to take you to dinner sometime.” If she responds favorably, respond with, “Great! Can I get your number? I’ll call you and we can figure something out.” It may seem bold, but I really appreciate it when guys are direct instead of leaving me to guess at their mysterious intentions.
• Keep in mind that even if she gives you her number, she might not be romantically interested in you.  She may just be interested in playing soccer with you, or who knows—she could be interested in your friend.

And because giving dating advice is one of my very favorite things to do, I’ll even give you a couple bonus tips.

• Now that you’ve got her number, send her the occasional text just to let her know she’s on your mind. Try something like, “Can you believe it’s still raining?” or “Did I see you at Target yesterday?”  These can be especially effective if you use something the two of you have previously talked about–for example, “Good luck on your stats final!” or “Ugh, I fell asleep in biology again!”
• Remember, you want to stay fresh in her mind—don’t wait a couple weeks after she’s given you her number to call her up or text her.

If these tips helped you out, be sure to let me know! And, if you liked this post, be sure to check out The Anti-Austen for more dating tips and ridiculous dating stories!

Kisses,
The Charmer

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